Met a.....unique Iranian man on the bus to Chang Mai,
He stood up not knowing anyone on the bus and said
"Hello my name is Farhad, it is my birthday today, I have bought a cake and I was wondering if we could have a little party!"
Amazing work Farhad, amazing,
At first the only support he got was from the Irish contingent while others attempted sleep having perhaps already taken their valium or maybe they were just boring.
Farhad somehow convinced a bus driver who spoke nothing but Thai to pull over at the nearest 7/11 so we could buy booze and wreck his bus.
Other supporters were soon rounded up from famous drinking countries like Poland and Germany
This particular Polish chap even commented when asked how he stomached straight whiskey "I was built for this!" very true and very telling.
Anyhows the birthday cake was lit
Consumed
Turns out the cake was made of ice cream and was the nicest cake I had tasted in 6months.
And much hilarity ensued at the back of the bus where we later discovered an old Thai lady was trying desperately to sleep under a blanket but we insisted on waking her and feeding her ice cream cake.
Next morning we arranged to meet all the party people at a reggae bar which no one knew where it was but that Farhad ensured us that "EVERYONE KNOWS IT!"
Asked about forty people and no one knew it,
When we did get there though it was empty so we headed to a blues place that again Farhad ensured us that everyone knew this place too.
It was much better there though and the music was great.
It was a bit expensive though so we got two drink each while the others ordered rounds without looking at the prices only to be unpleasantly surprised when the huge bill came, they all freaked out and panic split up the bill for about half an hour while we chortled to each other, silly beggars.
Meanwhile Farhad danced like the coolest guy ever.
Even getting up on stage at one point to dance around the band.
Eoin got unnecessarily angry and I screamed in terror when a cat snook up on me.
Then we showed off our nipples, not Cailín though obviously.
Next day visited something called the "Jedi Temple"!!!!! I almost saw someone with Lightsabre!
We then went up a mountain to see a really fat Buddha.
A mean statue made by a Thai man with obvious maternal issues.
We then went down the mountain to find some rather confusing road signs
and a shop with a literal name
Then we went to this really great festival with loads of people and did not at all just take a photo in front of a poster.
Then Cailín went for a cooking lesson, so we all have to get her to cook us lots of food when we get back.
Eoin found out that coconut milk tastes like wallpaper paste with skin floating in it, he was later to be seen throwing it down a storm drain.
We then set off on a three day hike with a guide called Mr.Kay
and his faithful master of the outdoors Louise,
the man who grabbed this spider right off its huge web and dangled it across his chest,
when asked if the spider was poisonous he answered "I don't know it hasn't bitten me yet".
he also hit a spider with a "Dennis the Menace" slingshot while the spider was resting in its web twenty feet up a tree.
On the first day of the trek we got a ride on some elephants which sexually molested Eoin, poor chap looks terribly upset.
We all sat on the same elephant, me and Foy on its back Eoin on its neck. It must have a very strong neck.
Turns out this was a banana powered elephant, we realised this five feet into the trip when the elephant stopped and started sexually assaulting Eoin again until it was feed a banana,
Went for a swim in a waterfall shadowed by speedoed Russians.
Cailín demanded to be removed from this photo to stop all you perves hahaha.
I am compensating by doing my "Shampoo Ad" moves,
Checkout the sexy posing from the Russian, you couldn't ask for more from a photo.
Next we started the hike where the guide showed us how to make hats out of big leaves, he made an extra large one for me because I, as I have said before, have a really big head.
Cailín's "Timmy Mallet" glasses were not made of leaves.
Got to show off my unique gait.
Lived up to our old Machu Pichu Trek name "The rear enders" in that we take a leisurely pace when hiking not that we do something else that is not mentioned in the bible but that the Catholic church goes ahead and does despite this.
Nice countryside round there,
SEXY!
After much river crossing,
and fence crossing,
reached the local mountains people village which has a superb view.
Unfortunately in the village we were faced with the terrifying prospect of having to sing a song for the amusement of the local children, so what song do you sing when faced with thirty children who can't speak english, the answer is "I'm a little teapot", it didn't go down a storm but we didn't get stoned to death.
To ease the pain and embarrassment we had a few beers and Mr.Kay turned into the Thai version of Daniel O'Donnel on acid, included in his repertoire was that old crackerjack by the Cranberries- "In your head".
The second day we were introduced to giant tarantulas.
Me and Eoin tried to start a fire by just rubbing sticks together, we failed but only just.....even the guides were getting excited, extolling the Gods to assist us "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha!!!!"
The guides got bored of waiting and lit a massive fire beside us with lighters, fools!.
That night around the camp fire Mr.Kay sang songs about Eoin and ladyboys and...... well lets just say he was doing the other things they don't write about in the bible, in the song not in real life. At least not that I know of.
He hid terrified in his mosquito net all night after that,
Next day we hiked through rice paddies,
Through bamboo forests.
Shot peasants.
Next we went on a bamboo raft down a river into which the whole localities toilets drained directly.
But we kept are camera's away from the stink water so no photos.
Bus back gave us a front row seat to the t.v., this was actually the fancy bus, by this I mean this bus brought us a kilometre from the bus station where this one "broke and everyone was moved to the shittier bus, nice. We still got a front row seat on the shittier bus though so don't worry.
He stood up not knowing anyone on the bus and said
"Hello my name is Farhad, it is my birthday today, I have bought a cake and I was wondering if we could have a little party!"
Amazing work Farhad, amazing,
At first the only support he got was from the Irish contingent while others attempted sleep having perhaps already taken their valium or maybe they were just boring.
Farhad somehow convinced a bus driver who spoke nothing but Thai to pull over at the nearest 7/11 so we could buy booze and wreck his bus.
Other supporters were soon rounded up from famous drinking countries like Poland and Germany
This particular Polish chap even commented when asked how he stomached straight whiskey "I was built for this!" very true and very telling.
Anyhows the birthday cake was lit
Consumed
Turns out the cake was made of ice cream and was the nicest cake I had tasted in 6months.
And much hilarity ensued at the back of the bus where we later discovered an old Thai lady was trying desperately to sleep under a blanket but we insisted on waking her and feeding her ice cream cake.
Next morning we arranged to meet all the party people at a reggae bar which no one knew where it was but that Farhad ensured us that "EVERYONE KNOWS IT!"
Asked about forty people and no one knew it,
When we did get there though it was empty so we headed to a blues place that again Farhad ensured us that everyone knew this place too.
It was much better there though and the music was great.
It was a bit expensive though so we got two drink each while the others ordered rounds without looking at the prices only to be unpleasantly surprised when the huge bill came, they all freaked out and panic split up the bill for about half an hour while we chortled to each other, silly beggars.
Meanwhile Farhad danced like the coolest guy ever.
Even getting up on stage at one point to dance around the band.
Eoin got unnecessarily angry and I screamed in terror when a cat snook up on me.
Then we showed off our nipples, not Cailín though obviously.
Next day visited something called the "Jedi Temple"!!!!! I almost saw someone with Lightsabre!
We then went up a mountain to see a really fat Buddha.
A mean statue made by a Thai man with obvious maternal issues.
We then went down the mountain to find some rather confusing road signs
and a shop with a literal name
Then we went to this really great festival with loads of people and did not at all just take a photo in front of a poster.
Then Cailín went for a cooking lesson, so we all have to get her to cook us lots of food when we get back.
Eoin found out that coconut milk tastes like wallpaper paste with skin floating in it, he was later to be seen throwing it down a storm drain.
We then set off on a three day hike with a guide called Mr.Kay
and his faithful master of the outdoors Louise,
the man who grabbed this spider right off its huge web and dangled it across his chest,
when asked if the spider was poisonous he answered "I don't know it hasn't bitten me yet".
he also hit a spider with a "Dennis the Menace" slingshot while the spider was resting in its web twenty feet up a tree.
On the first day of the trek we got a ride on some elephants which sexually molested Eoin, poor chap looks terribly upset.
We all sat on the same elephant, me and Foy on its back Eoin on its neck. It must have a very strong neck.
Turns out this was a banana powered elephant, we realised this five feet into the trip when the elephant stopped and started sexually assaulting Eoin again until it was feed a banana,
Went for a swim in a waterfall shadowed by speedoed Russians.
Cailín demanded to be removed from this photo to stop all you perves hahaha.
I am compensating by doing my "Shampoo Ad" moves,
Checkout the sexy posing from the Russian, you couldn't ask for more from a photo.
Next we started the hike where the guide showed us how to make hats out of big leaves, he made an extra large one for me because I, as I have said before, have a really big head.
Cailín's "Timmy Mallet" glasses were not made of leaves.
Got to show off my unique gait.
Lived up to our old Machu Pichu Trek name "The rear enders" in that we take a leisurely pace when hiking not that we do something else that is not mentioned in the bible but that the Catholic church goes ahead and does despite this.
Nice countryside round there,
SEXY!
After much river crossing,
and fence crossing,
reached the local mountains people village which has a superb view.
Unfortunately in the village we were faced with the terrifying prospect of having to sing a song for the amusement of the local children, so what song do you sing when faced with thirty children who can't speak english, the answer is "I'm a little teapot", it didn't go down a storm but we didn't get stoned to death.
To ease the pain and embarrassment we had a few beers and Mr.Kay turned into the Thai version of Daniel O'Donnel on acid, included in his repertoire was that old crackerjack by the Cranberries- "In your head".
The second day we were introduced to giant tarantulas.
Me and Eoin tried to start a fire by just rubbing sticks together, we failed but only just.....even the guides were getting excited, extolling the Gods to assist us "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha!!!!"
The guides got bored of waiting and lit a massive fire beside us with lighters, fools!.That night around the camp fire Mr.Kay sang songs about Eoin and ladyboys and...... well lets just say he was doing the other things they don't write about in the bible, in the song not in real life. At least not that I know of.
He hid terrified in his mosquito net all night after that,Next day we hiked through rice paddies,
Through bamboo forests.
Shot peasants.
Next we went on a bamboo raft down a river into which the whole localities toilets drained directly.
But we kept are camera's away from the stink water so no photos.
Bus back gave us a front row seat to the t.v., this was actually the fancy bus, by this I mean this bus brought us a kilometre from the bus station where this one "broke and everyone was moved to the shittier bus, nice. We still got a front row seat on the shittier bus though so don't worry.
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