Penang

Penang is a Malayasian island famed for being a UNESCO world heritage site and the place to try "fusion food".

So Cailín tried a "Boa" kind of like an uncooked bun.





Had a look at the fusion food myself but gave it a miss.



Wow.

Visited the Cameron Highlands in Malaysia were they make a fecking huge amount of tea.


Its also where every single old Land Rover goes to die, the streets are full of row after row of them.


All the tea coupled with the fact that it is aan old english colony makes it the perfect to have tea and scones,


Went on a tour of the local tea processing factiry, its all very cool, big huge machines turn the leaves to tea in only a few days, unlike coffee which takes weeks.


Also went to a rose garden, "You've seen one rose, you've seen them all!" announced Cailín after ten minutes.




And a honey farm where Cailín did an amazing bee impression.



Visited a Buddhist temple where we were ultra respectful.


Buddhist belly,


the statues at this particular temple had balls and arses.




We were joined on the tour by a tiny ancient Japanese lady and her daughter.


Ate every night at the same Indian restaurant were whole tables of people would turn and laugh at us.

Mainly because my arse was always peaking out of my pants. Cailin is doing her version of ''The call of the prayer'' here. I'm not even joking.

Taman Negara

On the way to Taman Negara, which is apparently the oldest rainforest in the world 500,000,000 years old and that's older than Twink, stopped at an unfortunately named restaurant, needless to say I didn't eat anything.


We travelled to a small village by boat where we stayed for a few days,

check out that terrorist beard.

went for treks up hills and along tracks and up on rope bridges through the canopy.


Cailín was quite nervous up on the rope bridges,




but not as nervous as me, terrifying.


We saw cool stuff there, vines and uprooted trees, and loads more animals than we saw in the Amazon, which wouldn't be that hard to be honest, we saw monkeys, wild pigs, weird birds and loads more crazy insects and the like, great crack.





All this adventuring did result in heavy rainforest sweating as illustrated by these sweaty impressions left by our sweat drenched arses, we drank 5 litres of water in three hours.


It was hear that Cailín dropped a huge bomb on my self confidence.
Now everyone knows that most people look like an animal if only vaguely, and every man on the planet likes to believe that they look like a nice manly animal, a wolf or a tiger or an eagle or a bear, all very normal. But it was here that Cailín informed me that I didn't look like any of these but in fact looked like............an ostrich!!!!!

A fucking OSTRICH!
How very emasculating. I mean no one LIKES ostriches, they are aggressive and ugly, their only claim to fame is that they can run away faster than anyone else in the whole world.

Payback!